I have decided to change the names of the towns I talk about. Mostly because the more i write the more I fins myself getting further away from the reality of the small town i grew up in, and more into this bat shit crazy town, where being exposed to the air just adds to everyone's crazy levels. I mean Wildomar is like that, but the effects just aren't as common as all the folks in this town. I am renaming the town "Wilton" so it's not too far off from Wildomar. Also you will see the names of two other towns here, that I've slightly changed, so idea yet as to what I'm gonna call Lake Elsinore, Lake Snellsinore? Snailsinore? Bailsinore? I have no clue. Why not leave a suggestion in the comments?
As always I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think. I don't get much feedback if any, so any would be much appreciated. Thanks!!
Scene 6: Leo @ The Wilton Hall of Performance.
An old Theater space, there are lights all over the floor, wires hanging, the floor is littered with mess, a large banner that reads “Mountain Spayers” hangs on the back wall. Mr. Plottle walks in followed by Leo and Joel. He is an older gentleman, a bit crazed looking, he carries a cat with him.
Mr. Plottle: Here she is boys, the Wilton hall of Performance. Now, we haven't had a show in here in about ten years, not since the Wilton Performance Hall opened up down the road there, so it hasn't been cleaned in a while.
Joel: When was the last time?
Mr. Plottle: 1994
Joel: I thought you said it's only been closed for ten years?
Mr. Plottle: Look, there's a reason people went to the Wilton Performance Hall, and it sure as hell wasn't the music.
Joel: Fun...
Leo: Speaking of, who are the Mountain Sprayers?
Mr. Plottle: Spayers, SPAYers! The Mountain Spayers was the best band to ever play the Wilton Hall of Performance.
Leo: What sort of music did they play?
Mr. Plottle: They were a Metal-Disco-Jazz-Reggae-Folk-Electronica-Fusion-Glen Miller Orchestra-Frida Kahlo type of band.
Leo: But wasn't Frida Kahlo a painter?
Mr. Plottle: Yeah, who do you think painted all the seats?
Leo: I was wondering about that.
Joel: So, Mr. Plottle, do you have any lighting instruments that still work? How is your sound system? Do you have any sort of fly system?
Mr. Plottle: You see those lights on the floor over there?
Joel: Yeah...
Mr. Plottle: That's our light inventory.
Joel: Great... Leo, can I talk to you?
Leo: Uh, yeah hold on, I think something is eating through my shoe... Ow! (They go to one side of the stage together, Leo takes his shoe off) Ok, so it's not the nicest place in town, but it is the cheapest.
Jeol: Leo, this place is a dump, we've gotta keep looking.
Leo: There isn't anywhere else in town that we can afford, those jags over at The Wilton Performance Hall want ten times as much as this place does.
Joel: Because it's ten times cleaner I'm sure. Also how much does this place want?
Mr. Plottle: Two steaks and a shoe, sorry couldn't help but eavesdrop.
Joel: Wait, so the Wilton Performance Hall wants twenty steaks, and ten shoes?
Leo: And a rug, can you believe that? A rug Joel, a rug. I mean, that place is nice sure, but not twenty steaks nice, fifteen maybe.
Joel: Are all business transactions around here done with meats?
Mr. Plottle: No, just here the Wilton Performance Hall, and the Pharmacy down the street. So, you boys gonna take the space or what?
Leo: Alright Plottle, just hold your horses. Joel? What do you think?
Joel: And we couldn't do it Morretta or Tebacula why?
Loe: Joel, I may not be fond of Wilton, but it's my hometown. I love it, sort of how you have to love your parents no matter how much they try to crush your dreams. If I am going to start something I want it to be in my hometown, my crazy, crazy hometown.
Joel: Fine, we'll take it.
Mr. Plottle: Great! I'll go draw up the papers! We are eatin tonight Marsha! (Exits)
Leo: Oh man Joel, this is really coming together, thanks for all your help, I wouldn't have been able to do this without you.
Joel: Aw come on, sure you could've.
Leo: No, really, I couldn't have. We've still got a long way to go, but we are headed there, it's all so real now that we have the space.
Joel: Now we just have to get actors who are willing to work for almost nothing, rehearse, design the set and lights, and get it all done, then open, and close. I wonder where we'll be able to find actors?
Bryan Daniel: (Entering, surprising Joel and Leo) Don't even think of trying to steal my actors, hello boys.
Leo: Bryan Daniel, what are you doing here?
Bryan Daniel: Just checking up on the competition, Leonard.
Leo: You know I hate it when you call me that.
Bryan Daniel: Well that's part of why I do it, Leonard. Now tell me, is this where you are going to put on your little “Show”? Leonard, this place is a dump, who in their right mind is going to want to watch a show in here? The asbestos is so thick here it chokes the rats. And who the hell are the Mountain Sprayers?
Leo: SPAYers. And those rats had smoking problems long before the asbestos.
Bryan Daniel: Listen to yourself Leonard, this place, this town has gotten to you. This is why I never wanted to visit while we were dating, it's a filth pit full of crazy people. And now you have even dragged poor Jared here-
Joel: It's Joel, you know it's Joel, we worked together for like 8 months.
Bryan Daniel: Jared, it's very rude to interrupt a man while he is talking. I see you learned nothing from our time together. Just look at him Leonard, do you see what the madness of this place has done to poor Jared? Do you really think you can put on a show here?
Leo: Of course we can, we might have to work a little harder this time around, but we will put on a show, and you know as well as I do that it is is going to be a hell of a lot better than yours Bryan Daniel, that's why you're here, checking up on us.
Bryan Daniel: Ha, you don't really believe that do you?
Leo: Yes, we do.
Bryan Daniel: We? So what, little Jared here believes in your plan too?
Joel: It's Joel-
Bryan Daniel: Jared, come on, seriously? Shut up.
Leo: Hey, Joel is just as much in charge of this as I am. He's my partner-
Bryan Daniel: What!? He's your what?
Joel: Leo, I mean, I- yeah, I felt like that, but I didn't know-
Leo: What, he's my business partner, so?
Bryan Daniel & Joel: Oh...
Leo: I don't get it what?
Bryan Daniel: Nothing. So when do you plan on opening?
Leo: We've got a date... Yeah, right Joel?
Joel: We do? (Leo kicks him) ow, uh right, an opening date, it's uh... Well, when is yours?
Bryan Daniel: (Gets uncomfortably close to Joel) How about at the same time, we say it in unison.
Joel: Uh... K. (Joel is making it up on the spot, while Bryan Daniel is trying to copy everything he says, without any of Joel's inflections) Well, we, uh... Were thinking of... Are you copying me? I am really uncomfortable with how close you are Bryan Daniel. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! May 16th!
Bryan Daniel: Wow, really May 16th? The same day as our opening, way to copy me Leonard. I always knew you wanted to be me, but this is just getting excessive, don't you think? First I get a Theater Company, then you have to get one, then I come to Wilton, and you just happen to be here? And now, you even took May 16th away from me. Do you know no bounds? Even copying my favorite color, Blue? Look, we're over, I broke up with you, there is no getting me back, I'm gone Leonard, Bryan Daniel doesn't do second chances, that goes for you too Jared.
Joel: There is no point in correcting him is there?
Leo: Nope. Bryan Daniel, I only started my own company because you got me fired from my last one. You came to Wilton to specifically find me, and you know you just copied whatever Joel said. Also Your favorite color is Houndstooth, so stop pretending it's blue. Plus, I broke up with you, you seem to have some sick fascination with me, so please just go.
Bryan Daniel: (Getting extremely close to Leo) I have never been broken up with Leonard, and you know it. No one would dare break up with Bryan Daniel Stevens!
Leo: Well, I did.
Bryan Daniel: Are you sure? I think we should sleep together one more time, just to make sure.
Leo: Ugh, get away from me.
Bryan Daniel: Fine, but what do you say to making this rivalry a little more interesting?
Joel: It's hardly a rivalry, we are two different theater companies, in two separate towns, we don't even have the same audience. (Bryan Daniel is about to interrupt, but Joel stops him) And so help me god Bryan Daniel, I have just as much right to talk as you or Leo.
Bryan Daniel: Hmm... You're rude, I could get into that.
Joel: Shutting up.
Leo: Interesting how?
Bryan Daniel: A competition, whoever has the better opening night wins.
Leo: Alright, but it's about how many people show up AND stay through till the end. And if they like it, AND what the reviews say. Whoever puts on the better overall production of Macbeth wins.
Bryan Daniel: Fine, and when I win you have to close down your little company, and come work for me, at half pay, and have sex with me once a week.
Leo: No
Bryan Daniel: Just once.
Leo: No
Bryan Daniel: Fine, no sex... quarter pay.
Leo: Deal, and when WE win, you have to pay all of our company's expenses out of your own pocket for next years season. AND you have to stop sending me dirty pictures of yourself.
Bryan Daniel: Never.
Leo: Less Frequently
Bryan Daniel: Deal. (They Shake hands) May the best man win, Leonard.
Leo: Oh, don't worry, we will.
Bryan Daniel exits.
Joel: Leo are you sure about this?
Leo: Not as sure as before you asked me if I was sure. We've got a lot of experience, but he does have one thing that we do not.
Joel: What's that?
Mr. Plottle: (Offstage) Alright, now this contract is mostly used coffee filter, but it'll do.
Leo: Money...
Black out.
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