Namingway and the New Year

So today I talked to the Namingway. For those of you who don't know who/what that is, it's from Final Fantasy IV he's this little rabbit(?) creature thing. Technically he is a Hummingway, a group of little rabbit things that live on the moon... ANYWAY not the point. Namingway is special in the game in that he makes it so you can Rename your characters. So I Namingway'd myself (?)... Whatever, I changed my name online for a few reasons. The main one being my new job where I'll be working with school kids, my Mom suggested it/bugged me till I did it, so hopefully the kids don't look me up and see the morally objectionable things I do/say/write/film. The other reason is cause I figure it's not too "professional" to have all my craziness online, not in like the creative sense, if I'm going for something creative, this is who I am and can't be ashamed of that. But since people have been getting better at the interwebs, and lets face it, everyone can google, it's easier to find people and try and see who they are before doing things like hiring them n shit, and it's kinda like "If I can do the job, and am qualified what the fuck does it matter if I'm crazy on my off time?" "Well, that's just not the type of person we want working for us, we're a family company, and I just can't get behind you making skits about girls who got so high they think they had an abortion when they were never really pregnant to begin with." To that I of course say "ONE TIME!" Oh which I guess brings me to my next point, in case you didn't know, I got a freakin job! woot, very excited. I start in January, so I decided to do the name change right at the end of this year.

New Year!
Well the new year is upon us. 2011 was quite a year for me, I graduated from college, I started a skit show, I started this blog, I found a really nice sweater that goes with practically anything! (Ok, maybe that last one's not really that great) Point is, I'm not very good at looking back at the last 365.25 days and going "Oh remember when?" usually it takes looking at pictures, or someone asking me that question and I go "Oh shit, yeah remember when?" But I know that this year was a good one, I can feel it in my big bones. I am pretty freakin happy with my lot in life, I know I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I'm working towards it, and that's a promising start to a new year. I haven't been updating the blog recently, but I'll try harder with the new year, but there will be some changes around here, mostly due to the fact that I can't work on scripts for "Fix My Problem!" "Shots of Sketch 3" and then separate ones for the blog. So this might become more of an opinion blog in the weeks to come, with some scripts thrown in. We shall see, all I know is that I can't ever let myself stop creating, writing, acting, thinking, dreaming (And I have some pretty fucked up dreams, another time) and sharing. So Happy New Years everyone!
Sincerely Gerardo Grimm

No NWF This Week

Hey guys, sorry I don't have anything new for you this week, I just finished writing the finale episode of the first "season" of Fix My Problem! So I have nothing new today. But I am looking for people who want to be involved in the web series, let me know!!!

Fix My Problem: Cats

 Here is episode two of "Fix My Problem" These are short and super easy. If you have an idea for a  "problem" that these guys could fix why not tell me? Maybe I'll write it up. I've got a few more ideas still to write up, dunno if I'll post them right away. Let me know if u want to be involved.

Fix My Problem!: Cats

INT.- Room- 2 chairs, music and the “Fix My Problem” logo appears on the screen. CHUCK and CARLOS come on and sit in the chairs, the logo disappears.

Chuck: Greetings friends, and welcome to this episode of-

Both: Fix My Problem!!

Carlos: Where you write in, and we-

Both: Fix Your Problems!

Chuck: No matter how weird they are, I'm Chuck.

Carlos: And I'm Carlos. Today's first let comes to us from Varla Veracruz in Topeka, Kansas, she writes “Dear Carlos and Chuck, my cat is an outside cat, and as such I leave her food bowl out there, but recently a horde of raccoons has been coming around at night and eating all of her food. What can I do? Please, Fix My Problem!” Well Varla, what you wanna do is purchase a large mean dog and have it protect the cat food at night, and you don't even have to feed it because it will be eating raccoon! There ya go we-

Both: Fixed Your Problem!

Chuck: Our next letter comes to us from Leslie Lamb, from Ottawa, Canada. She writes, “Dear Chuck and Carlos, my grandma is getting old and senile, I don't want to put her in a home because I saw this special on TV where they just give all the old people plastic surgery and send them out into the wilderness to fend for themselves. But I can't keep her at home with me, what should I do? Please, Fix My Problem!” Well Ms Lamb, what I suggest is that you send your grandmother to the home, but before you do make sure to outfit her with some cybernetic limbs, that way when the inevitable does happen happen she will be better equipped to handle surviving on her own. We just-

Both: Fixed your problem!

Carlos: And our final letter today comes from a Miss Sandy Sandstone in Palm Springs, CA. She writes “Dear Carlos and Chuck, my bitch of a neighbor ran over my cat that I loved with every fiber of my being, and now I want revenge, Can you “Take care” of her cat For me?” Yes Sandy, we can, we will-

Both: Fix Your Problem!

Ext.-Sandy's House- Chuck and Carlos stand outside a house w SANDY, she holds a cat

Chuck: We are here in Palm Springs, CA with Sandy Sandstone, Sandy please introduce yourself.

Sandy: My name is Sandy and this Mr. Jeremy.

Carlos: Well hello there Mr. Jeremy.

Sandy: No, no one is allowed to pet Mr. Jeremy but me!

Carlos: Right, sorry, tell us about your neighbor and her cat.

Sandy: Well one day I was taking Ms. Scuttlebutt out for a walk and my neighbor Dumb Denise comes up and runs over my cat with her lawnmower! I swore that I would get revenge! Can you fix my problem?

Chuck: Yes we can, here is how we will-

Both: Fix Your Problem! Step One!

Carlos: Steal your neighbors Cat Snooty Sarah.

Both: Step Two

Chuck: Run over the cat making it look like an accident.

Both: Step Three, she finds the cat. Problem Fixed!

Ext.-Dumb Denise's house, Carlos calls the cat to him and grabs it, looks around, runs away with it.

Carlos: Step one Complete!

Ext.-Street- The cat is in the middle of the road, as a car approaches it runs away, they try three or four more times, each time the cat gets out of the way, Chuck and Carlos get increasingly frustrated, they look at each other, shake their heads in unison, and then footage of them running over a stuffed cat, that looks nothing like Snooty Sarah. DUMB DENISE comes out of her house and starts crying over the cat. Sandy does an evil laugh and enters her house, Chuck approaches Dumb Denise and gives her some money. She stops crying and goes inside, chuck looks back at the camera realizing it is still rolling. The word “FIXED” appears on the screen like a giant stamp.

INT.-Room- 2 Chairs, Carlos and Chuck sit, like in the opening.

Carlos: If you want your problem fixed just email us at FixMyProb@Prob.net

Chuck: And remember

Both: WE FIX YOUR PROBLEM!

End.

NWF # 17 Fix My Problem!

So something new this week. I am excited for this, i had this idea while in the shower today (You probably didn't need to know that part) I want to start a web series called "Fix My Problem" every episode Chuck and Carlos get letters from "viewers" asking for help with their problems, "no matter how weird they are" and then they choose one and go out and fix it. It's pretty short, but webisodes are usually between like 3-5 minutes so I think it's a good length for that, especially because a portion of it is improv. I have an idea for a few more and if I get a chance to write them this weekend I will post them. I know a lot of my film formatting is wrong, but you get the gist. If you have an idea for problems to "fix" or would like to be involved let me know. Thanks guys!!!

Fix My Problem!

INT.- Room- 2 chairs, music and the “Fix My Problem” logo appears on the screen. CHUCK and CARLOS come on and sit in the chairs, the logo disappears.

Chuck: Greetings friends, and welcome to this episode of-

Both: Fix My Problem!!

Carlos: Where you write in, and we-

Both: Fix Your Problems!

Chuck: No matter how weird they are, I'm Chuck.

Carlos: And I'm Carlos. Today's first let comes to us from Samantha Soma in San Diego, CA. She says “Dear Carlos and Chuck, I need your help, my husband claims I'm cheating on him and I say I'm not. I totally am, but I don't want him to know about it. So I need to “prove” to him that I'm not cheating. Please, Fix My Problem!”

Chuck: Well Samantha, usually we'd love to help fix your problem, but we also received this letter from Saul Soma from San Diego, CA. “Dear Chuck and Carlos, I fear that my wife Samantha is cheating on me, she is my world and it would break my heart if I knew that she actually was cheating on me. Please help me set my mind at ease about her. Please, Fix My Problem.” Well Saul, there ya go... we just-

Both: Fixed Your Problem!

Carlos: And now case today comes from Daniel Diamond in Lake Elsinore, CA. He writes, “Dear Carlos and Chuck, I have a problem with ghost in my house. They are not active enough. I really like the show ghost hunters but the ghosts in my house don't hardly do anything, can you come and upset them to make them more active?” Yes, Daniel, we will-

Both: Fix Your Problem!

EXT.-Daniel's House- Chuck and Carlos stand outside a house in Lake Elsinore, CA with DANIEL

Chuck: We are here in Lake Elsinore with Daniel Diamond, Daniel introduce yourself.

Daniel: Hi, my name is Daniel, and uh, this isn't a meth lab...

Carlos: I'm sure it's not. Now tell us about these ghosts in your house.

Daniel: Well, it's like there are ghosts in the house right, and well, like, they just aren't that active. I need them to do more stuff and be more spookier so I can go on Ghost Hunters.

Chuck: Sounds like a quite a problem to me. Here is how we will

Both: Fix Your Problem! Step One

Carlos: Set up equipment in different rooms in the house.

Both: Step two

Chuck: Make the spirits angry and active

Both: Step Three, Problem Fixed!

Daniel: That really just sounds like one step, two at the most.

INT.-House- The guys are setting up equipment. They finish and turn off all the lights of the house, a la Ghost Hunters. Then it's Chuck onscreen in night vision.

Chuck: Step one is complete. We have set up camera's in three different rooms. Now comes step two, upsetting the spirits. If I've learned anything from tv and movies it's that spirits hate three things, swearing, drugs, and pre-marital sex. In room one Carlos and I will be swearing at the ghosts to try and get them to act up. In room two our friend Chad will be smoking some marijuana, and in room three our volunteers Carla and Chase will be having pre-marital sex. (Moves camera so we can see CARLA and CHASE) Say 'Hi' guys. (Chase and Carla unenthusiastically wave, completely aware how awkward this is going to be)

The Camera cuts between the rooms, maybe each room is shown twice? It says what room number at the bottom left screen of each scene.

“Room 1: Swearing”

Carlos and Chuck sit around swearing at the ghosts calling them pussies, daring them to do stuff, maybe throwing in a couple of “Bro”s [is it funnier if everything is bleeped out?]

“Room 2: Drugs”

Chad sits on the floor and starts to smoke a bowl, coughs, starts to giggle, hears something, wonders if it's a cat, or if there is even a cat in the house. Also is pretty sure this house is also a meth lab.

“Room 3: Pre-Marital Sex”

Carla and Chase are trying to have sex, but neither of them know how to, being virgins. He is on top.

Chase: Is this right?

Carla: I don't know, I've never done this before.

Chase: Me either, I think we're supposed to be naked?

Carla: Like Completely?

Chase: I'm not sure.

Carla: How do they do it in movies?

Chase: I don't know my mom always covers my eyes during this stuff.

A GHOST appears behind them

Ghost: Seriously? Seriously? Come on guys! I've been dead for twelve years and the first couple I get to see have sex is you two freaks? Man, fuck this! My buddy Ghost Tupac haunts a whore house and is always telling me the crazy shit that goes on there, but no, when it's my turn I get this leave it to beaver mother fucker. I'm outta hear. And that's right America, Tupac's dead, leave him alone! (Disappears)

Chase: Who was that?

Carla: I dunno.

The word “FIXED” appears on the screen like a giant stamp

INT.-Room- 2 Chairs, Carlos and Chuck sit, like in the opening.

Carlos: If you want your problem fixed just email us at FixMyProb@Prob.net

Chuck: And remember

Both: WE FIX YOUR PROBLEM!

End.