Hi guys! I know I'm terrible at doing this, but I was just looking over my blog for writing samples for something, and I was like "Well dammit, I need to stop BSing and just start writing stuff." Hopefully I will keep it up this time. I am going to try!(?) Now here's the thing, here is where I get upset at work when kids do this. (For those of you not in the know I work at an after school program) but I have not said explicitly that I WILL be doing this, I said I am going to TRY. when I say this, the kids think I mean "I promise, I swear to the great sky god jesus harold christ that we will be playing handball today! And if we don't may I be stricken with diseases upon diseases so say I!" No, it means I have the best intentions of doing this, but sometimes it doesn't happen, and I'm really super sorry if it doesn't work out, sort of... (That last part is for the kids, I actually am really super sorry with you guys). So here is when it starts, I am going to try and write, maybe not a story or a script, but something, at the very least weekly, I've got to be able to do that at least. I can do it, and more, I just get distracted. But no longer! I will write dammit, my future depends on it (in a sense) I want to be a writer, so I must write I must build a mountain of things I have written and so shal it be that I will have... a mountain of stuff I have written which is pretty cool to say the least. Here is the beginning of a new story for you to tide you over.
Slumber Space.
He sat in the
waiting room, the smell of cigarettes and old wall paper glue filled
the air. It's almost real, it feels real, it seems real,
he thought. But it wasn't real, this waiting room didn't exist, at
least not in the sense that you or I exist, it was a room in-
“Justin
Harper?” A voice rang out from behind the counter. Justin walked
over and handed the strange purple woman sitting behind the counter
his sheet of paper, to him it looked blank, but she just sat there
looking it over, as if she could see what was written on the paper
that he could not. The longer it took the more nervous he got, as if
he was being judged, he was, he just didn't know that. “Right, well
we don't usually take your kind here, but in your circumstance you
don't really have a lot of options, and you were a great help to
Gold.” there was a long silence before either spoke, a woman
sneezed and a welsh corgie blessed her. Justin spoke first, “So...?”
“So welcome aboard, here's your badge, and your gun.” She handed
him a blue piece of paper that was blank. Is nothing
written in this place? He stared
intently at it and saw words appear, fading into view, and a picture,
his picture, it said “Slumber Space Nightmare Detective Level Blue:
Justin Harper” He picked up his gun, which looked like a piece of
wood. “It'll change once you get some more experience.” The
Purple Woman said when she noticed Justin's wary look. “Right...”
She pointed him to the hallway and said that his office was all the
way down on the right.
Justin
walked down the hall passing all sorts of sights that (what, twelve
hours ago?) would have seemed impossible. Dogs drinking coffee while
interviewing Lizard women. Worm Secretaries, rooms marked “Smoke
Clouds Anonymous” and what appeared to be an Angel handcuffed to a
heater while a demon interrogated her about the whereabouts of Angel
Island. Then he reached his office, it was closed, the door said
“Slumber Space Nightmare Detective Level Aubergine: Sally Slender:
No Relation” he tried opening the door, but it was locked. “Excuse
me? Miss? The door's locked.” Justin called down the hall. The
Purple Woman yelled back “Talk to it.” Talk to it?
“Uh
hello?” Justin said, unsure if that was right.
“What
do you want?” The door seemed to say. “Oh jesus h christ you're
her replacement aren't you? Sally Slender, she's gone ain't she? God
dammit, I knew it, I knew I shouldn'ta let her go after that god
damned Crimson Nightmare! I said Wallace, this one feels
different, this is the one, you're gonna lose your freakin Aubergine
status and they're gonna send in some Blue bastard.
And there she went out the door, and here you are, with your god
damned Blue card. Jesus christ, I might as well be a doggie door for
the dog down the hall, HE is at least at Orange!” The door started
shouting, “Hey! Candice!” Apparently the Purple Woman's name was
Candice, the door continued. “I want to put in for a transfer! I'm
not starting all the way back at god damned blue for chrissakes! What
kinda shit is that?”
Candice
yelled back, “Look Bill, you're a door, this kinda thing happens
all the time, do you know how much effort it takes to get you guys
out of the frames? It ain't happenin, we don't have the budget for
something like that. Now be nice to Justin, he's Human and doesn't
know how half the shit here works.”
“Oh
no, you ain't stickin me with some Human! Of all the lousy things to
do to a door Candice! Candice, why you gotta do this to me? Candice
baby! Hey, don't pretend like you can't hear me! Candice!” He went
on for a bit, until Justin decided he'd had enough.
“Hey!
Open up!”
“Oh,
we got a tough guy ova here! Well come on, you wanna get inside? Turn
the handle!”
Justin
wasn't sure why, but he felt uncertain about following the doors
advice. Oh god, I'm arguing with a door.
He slowly started to reach to the knob.
“I
wouldn't do that if I were you.” Justin stopped and turned, it was
him. Gold, “Bill can be a real asshole. On her first day he did the
same thing to Sally, passed out from an electrical shock.”
“It
wasn't even that big of a shock!” Bill whined.
“Open
up ya big brute.”
“Hey!
I just got a wide frame!”
“Be
nice to Justin, or you'll have to answer to me, understood?”
“Oh,
and what are you gonna do?”
“I'll
draw on you. With permanent marker.”
“You
wouldn't dare!”
“Wouldn't
I?”
Gold
and Bill were in a stare down, which was difficult for Justin to pick
up on seeing as how the door had no eyes. “Fine, fine, come in,
jeez, look at this guy, play a little joke and he starts threatenin
to mark a guy up!” Bill opened and Justin finally got to see his
new office. It had a desk and a chair, and a little lamp, even had
his name on a little blue sphere that looked like a hologram.
“Feel
free to decorate it when you have the chance, it can look however you
want. Just use your imagination.” Gold informed him.
“Right,
my imagination. That's what got me here in the first place...”
“Hey,
it won't be so bad, I'll be here to help you get used to the place.
Trust me in a few days you won't even realize you're in a coma!”
The reassuring smile on Gold's handsome face disappeared at the
realization of the stupid thing he said, “I- uh... Dammit, wasn't
gonna bring that up.”
What
a long day Justin had had. The last thing he wanted to think about
was how he got here, but there it was the ever looming fact. Justin
Harper was now stuck in the world of the dreamers that it's
inhabitants called Slumber Space, he was now a Nightmare Detective, a
person who hunts Nightmares, and he had no idea when the fuck he was
going back to the real world. How the fuck did I get here?
He had to replay it all in his
head just to make sure he wasn't dreaming it all up, well he WAS in
fact dreaming, he just wasn't the one in charge of it all.
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